It really bothers me when someone doesn’t like me. At my age shouldn’t I be over this? What difference does it make if some person doesn’t like me? Someone who doesn’t know me. Hasn’t taken the time to really find a reason to dislike me. This is one thing I would change about myself. I wish I could not care. That it didn’t make me feel yucky. I guess its something I’m going to have to live with.
There are many types of people in the world. Some we mesh with immediately. Some rub us the wrong way in the outset. Others grow on us. Chances are we can learn from them. Even if it’s something we don’t like.
One of these types is, what I call, intuitive. I fit into this group. At one time, I believe this was such a gift. I could sense what other people were feeling. It was as if I had something extra.
As I gotten older though, my extra sense has almost turned into a paranoia. I see possible shadows where there aren’t any.
When did it change? Was my original assessment wrong? I worry now if someone is a distracted or different than their norm that something is wrong or that they are upset with me. Time is spent telling myself that I don’t have power enough to affect every person, every day. I’m not that important. I’m not a narcissist. I know it’s weird. My super special power has turned into a debilitating neurosis.
Trouble is, other than trying myself that I’m being silly or when it gets really bad, I ask a friend if they notice whatever I think I’m sensing. Don’t get me wrong, I still pick up on things. But more and more it seems to be a worry bringer.
I work in a environment with a large group of women. If you have ever worked with a bunch of women then you know what it can be like.
Maybe it’s the environment that is making it worse.
I don’t have an answer. I find that I’m talking myself out of thoughts more and more. Questioning myself.
I don’t know that I have anything to offer in those types of people. I’m nice and try to be positive and helpful. I’m usually happy, even when I’m in an actual episode. I suspect my personality would be trying to other people. I don’t let my inner thoughts out to anyone.
Is that a sign of true insanity?
I’ve spent somewhere in the neighborhood of three hours trying to customize this new blog. I haven’t done that since MySpace. Back when I thought the Facebook was like totally boring! I remember my good friend telling me I should sign up for FB. I remember thinking I will never use that. Just look at it! MySpace was so shiny, glittery, and cool.
All that glitters was not gold.
But now it’s part of everyday life. You can sign into almost everything with Facebook. What an amazing idea. My grandmother has a FB.
Which brings me to my next goal(s). I make jewelry. I also knit and crochet. I would kind to build a website featuring these creations. I think they are pretty good.
Tonight I’m reading other blogs and thinking I wish I had been doing this all along. Just because I could have been making notes about my kids this WHOLE time. That is crazy. I’m always the last one into things. Do any of you other bloggerians ever feel like three minutes after you discover something that many people took part of that its suddenly either the end of said activity or its no longer have relevant?
I came across a blog written so well and it made so much sense! I read it and then shared it. I thought how neat it would be to try this. This is my first post